Well, well, well... Looky here. This week marks the first time I have had regular time without a child in tow for nearly 11.5 years, the last two of which were incredibly concentrated time with all 3. To my great surprise, I am in a state of rehabilitation.
- All by my lonesome in a vehicle that seats 8, you will find me driving down the highway in the HOV lane. It is not until I have to leave the lane to exit the highway that I realize I've been using it unlawfully.
- On numerous occasions, the heart-wrenching guilt that I'm dwindling away my children's ever fleeting youth has snatched me when I've realized that I've been hiding in the bathroom on my phone for an inordinate amount of time. I wonder how long it will be before I realize that I no longer have to use the bathroom for anything other than what it was intended while the kids are being properly engaged by adults other than myself.
- My thoughts have returned to me. Well, sort of. They are easing me back in nice and slow. I have been coping with the influx of thoughts by taking refuge in Harry Potter, guilt-free (refer to number 2). When suddenly barraged by an onslaught of questions regarding my coffee order at Starbucks, I am much more equipped to answer with something other than "uhhhhhh.....what?"
- Once upon a time I liked to write. Today, I spelled here (as in the preposition) hear (as in the verb). One would think that homeschooling sharpens such skills. This is what happens when my brain is on multitasking. Long live single tasking. Amen.
- Grocery shopping alone, I look over my shoulder constantly in search for straggling children to make sure they are following me. Also, every time a fellow shopper approaches, I call out "single file" so that they may pass through the aisle unobstructed by my children tickling/chasing/mean-mugging/laughing, singing, and dancing with/hiding from/funny face competing/poking each other.
I have been truly blessed to recognize the limited time I have with our sweet babies. Although we are all missing each other dearly, the transition has been smooth and relatively seamless, proving that my fretting was done in vain. Growing pains, I suppose.
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| “I sustain myself with the love of family.” | Maya Angelou |
